But I’m Not Ready!

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Our Lenten journeys are nearing their end.

I began so well, with quiet times, reflections, focusing on my relationship with God.

The readings I planned to do were proceeding on schedule, enriching the thoughts and meditations in my heart and mind.

My Lenten commitment of no recreational shopping was on-track.  It freed up time for contemplation. Even the sale flyers and shopping newspapers were relegated to the recycle pile without a quick peek. What surprised me was the time I saved not having to store my shopping purchases.

I also experimented with living more simply without my “to do” list. While I did not keep a list for each day, it caused me to feel overwhelmed and WAY behind. That seemed to defeat the purpose of keeping a quiet heart.

Yet, here it is Maundy Thursday and I don’t feel ready!

My mind has been distracted by recent accidents that have snuffed out lives of young people.

….Prayer requests from friends who are fighting back at the cancer in their bodies.

….Wacky weather patterns that impact travel plans for Easter weekend.

….Plans to make Easter Sunday’s message about the resurrection and not the candy bunnies and chicks.

And then I wondered how Jesus felt on that day of preparation for His Last Supper with the disciples.

I think he might have been distracted, too….

….making arrangements for the place to gather his twelve friends with him for the Passover meal.

….wondering, as he took the towel to wash their feet, if they would ever “get” what it meant to serve each other

….trying one more time to help them understand that he would have to suffer.

….sharing the Bread of the Presence and the wine, as his body and blood.

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He knew that His mission on earth was to be the perfect Lamb of God, spotless and sinless to meet the requirements for sacrifice. He had watched the priests take the lambs, spill their blood. The prophet Isaiah’s words were indelibly marked in his heart—

Yet it was our suffering he carried,
our pain[c] and distress, our sick-to-the-soul-ness.
We just figured that God had rejected him,
that God was the reason he hurt so badly.
But he was hurt because of us; he suffered so.
Our wrongdoing wounded and crushed him.
He endured the breaking that made us whole.
The injuries he suffered became our healing. Isaiah 53:4,5 (The Voice)

He didn’t feel ready for these next days either.  In fact, his final prayer was this “Father, if You are willing, take this cup away from Me. Yet not My will, but Your will, be done.” Luke 22:42

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So today, as I clean, grocery shop, prepare food for the Easter celebration that we know is coming, I welcome the feeling of not being ready.

It reminds me that Jesus did not feel ready either.

But he was obedient.

One. Step. At. A. Time.

All the way to Calvary!

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